Christmas 2015 Memories and Emotional Breakdown

photo

20151225_100824

Once upon a time, we lived in a crumby little trailer that was full of love and joy. (Well, at least until the mother n law walked through the door.) Anyway, all of those cards are from our newspaper customers. They loved us so much!

I did ALL the work in 2016. My husband only worked on Sundays and he and my daughter were out with their friends all night so she and her boyfriend slept most of the routes. My husband stayed home, apparently having an affair and making a baby.

The kids helped me roll the papers before they napped and then I delivered all 4 routes – over 800 papers! Some I even put on their porches if it was cold or raining or they were older customers (which many were – elderly, high society, and wealthy).

I did everything right!

Ya know how many Christmas cards I got after my husband’s arrest???

3

Only 3 customers deemed me worthy of a tip that year. I was living in the truck that I was delivering their papers in but all they could do was judge me.

One lawyer’s secretary sent an unmarked check to me. Ya know what I did?

I imagined all the ways I could get into trouble with such a temptation, and then I called and reported the check. They told me that he meant to send me $10 but since I was so honest I could have $15……this after receiving $100 checks the three years before..

I don’t mean to whine. Really I don’t. But when I need people the most – they are nowhere to be found. Just like the family that took me in just before that Christmas. By February they put me back out on the streets! I’m not a bad person. I would do anything for others but…

I’m sorry everyone..Today is the day my husband was sentenced..The 3rd was the day his family threw me into the street in 2016 even though my lease said I had until the 9th..

Sometimes the walls start closing in and I feel like I’m going to suffocate as society and the prison system tighten the noose around my neck…

It’s Christmas and I can’t even see my own husband or even talk to him on the phone! I can’t keep relying on the couple I live with to pay me for staying here. When they can’t pay me, they can’t pay me. I feel like such a burden.

Had I been given the tips that I busted my ass to earn, I would have had a home by now.

~L.L

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s